The Conversationalist


Silly, affectionate, stubborn, and loud, but most of all—this kid is a conversationalist.

All day long, talking talking talking. Using words like “everybody” and “anyone” and “sometime” as haphazardly as a drunk man.

“Someday when I get little, I will spit up on you!”

“I am as big as anyone!”

“Sometime I go to the potty yesterday!” (Nope).

For a while he was telling me dinosaurs stink, which was confusing but I just shrugged and played along.

Me: Yes! Oh my, they are so smelly! Peeeyouuu!

Waylon: {blank stare}

Finally I realized he meant extinct, not stink.

His chatter does not wane with tiredness, it only exacerbates it. Try to put on his pajamas, try to brush his teeth, try to do anything on the way to bedtime and it is a smattering of questions, a conversation about triangles, demands about WHAT’S IT TIME FOR MOMMY?? And then after a loud scream and dramatics about going up the stairs, he will turn sharply to address the crowd. “Goodnight everybody!” he chirps politely.

There is no one in the room.

Oh Waylon, you are a dream. A confusing, loud, and funny dream.


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