Last night as I was trying to fall asleep/get comfortable/not think about peeing, Baby Baer started his nightly exercises. I sighed and placed my hand on my belly and tried to think sleepy thoughts when I realized the movements felt a little strange. He was all over the place. But it was 2am and I was tired and figured he just learned some new tricks.
Then this morning when I woke up and looked down at my giant baby mountain, I noticed it looked kind of funny. Actually, it looked really funny. Off to the left there was a big bump, like someone had stuck a mound of playdough under my skin. I thought–uh oh, but hoped it was just his little baby butt.
Later this morning, at a 2 week routine appointment, my mid-wife confirmed it. Breech. The little bugger turned himself around last night and now it’s my job to coax him back into the correct position. Apparently this is possible. He still has time (and room) to turn back in the next few weeks, especially with a little encouragement.
1) Breech Tilt Exercise
Women used to stand on their head to try to move breech births. Now they do tilts, which is basically any movement where you can get your hips above your heart. Some sources suggest I get out my ironing board, lean it against the couch, and lay upside down. Something to do with physics. This does not sound comfortable.
2) Freeze Him Out
Not the official term, but that’s what it is. Apparently you can make baby move by placing some frozen peas on the top of the uterus so they move away from the cold and down into the warm. Seems a little far fetched, but maybe on a hot day.
3) Downstairs Disco
Okay, so they don’t call it “downstairs disco” either. All this involves is playing music by the pelvic bone and shining a flashlight down there to lure baby into the birth position. How funny! I can’t imagine sticking a strobe light down my pants and busting out Bieber is going to do much of anything, but it could be very entertaining.
4) Toenail Stimulation
“Place a clothespin on the small toe of each foot at the outside corner of the toenail; sideways so that the toenail and toepad are stimulated for 30 minutes per day.”
First of all, my baby toenail is too small to fit a clothespin. Second of all, what? Reading on, I believe it has something to do with acupressure. Ouch.
5) Belly Relaxing followed by Inversion
My personal favorite. Ready for this baby daddy? “Partner places a shawl, sheet, towel or rebozo under mom’s hips as she lays on the floor. Lift up on the corners of the cloth and shimmy her from side to side moving your hands up and down to wiggle her belly from side to side. These should be very small movements which mom should find very relaxing. Do this for about 5 minutes. Then mother kneels on the stairway landing. Walk your hands down 2 or 3 stairs into an all fours position; have your partner support your shoulders to balance you. Remain in this position for about 5-10 minutes or as long as comfortable. Do this on an empty stomach” (Source).
While all of these natural remedies for breech babies are, at the very least, entertaining, obviously my best hope is that Baby Baer turns on his own and allows me to have a normal, vaginal birth. If he decides to stay bottoms up for the rest of month 8, we’ll have no choice but to schedule a c-section in June.
I return for another appointment in two weeks and if he’s still breech, they will do an ultrasound and we’ll discuss our options. For those of you who will be visiting this weekend for the baby shower, maybe you can help coax him back around with some vocal persuasion or by stimulating my toenails. Your choice.