Today is the day we find out if Baby Baer will be wearing miniature sundresses or little red suspenders this summer. I fully recognize that it is annoying to announce this while simultaneously planning on keeping it a secret, but I’m bursting with impatience and have been asked “Have you found out?” a hundred times this month.
Over the past few weeks I have imagined different reactions to the news. I picture myself crying, laughing, shrieking, embracing Austin in ecstasy… Most likely I will just smile and enjoy a big sigh of relief at finally knowing.
If you’re wondering why we’re finding out it all, it has more to do with bonding and less to do with buying things. While it will be nice to know what section of consignment shops and yard sales to browse, my main inspiration to know the sex is born out of stories of other women who have not found out and then become hormonal wrecks in the delivery room after seeing a teeny tiny replica of their husband’s anatomy.
I will be thrilled, of course, with either gender, though I admit it will take a few more seconds to process what it means to have a son. I have no brothers and did not grow up with many male cousins, so the idea of a little boy is fairly foreign to me. I know it’s absurd, but I panic at the thought of washing a little wiener correctly or teaching him how to point it at the pot. My knowledge in this area is quite limited.
If you ask Austin he will say he really doesn’t care what it is and I sincerely believe him (he’s not one to hide his opinions). He is, however, adamant on not sharing the news until d-day, a decision we both made but one in which I will have the most trouble keeping.
In the beginning, I thought maybe we would not find out at all. I didn’t want to lose that defining moment where Austin says “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” But then I thought—maybe I can have both. Having a surprise is just as fun as experiencing one. I can know what I’m having and still hear Austin proudly announcing the news to everyone else. Win-win situation. What I did not prepare for is the hostility that has transpired from this decision. My aunts, especially, are not happy with their extended wait time and have threatened me with less presents and much strife. My parents feel similarly. Austin’s siblings, specifically Kenton, are sure I won’t make it a day without blabbing. We’ll see.
What I do know is that at 6:30 tonight I will experience something very new and much anticipated. Thank you for being patient. We can hardly wait to share this surprise in June.